For example, say you’re deciding between two parties to attend on a Friday night. Your friend is a film fanatic, and their group of friends are having a movie night. You’re more of a board game person, and another group of friends is having a game night. Make your friend aware of the option you want. Say something like, “Did you hear Madison and Emily are doing that board game night? Kind of boring, if you ask me. "
In the above example, you could casually mention board games that will be played at the event. You could also play a game of cards with your friends a few days before the event, allowing your friend to see how much fun games can be. You can also make the friends sound more enticing. Bring up fun memories you had hanging out with Madison and Emily. Talk about their good qualities. For example, say something like, “Madison always has the best selection of wine at her place. "
Going back to the above example, wait until Friday night comes around. Say something like, “Well, we can go to Madison and Emily’s, or that movie night. What do you think? I think Madison and Emily’s thing may be a tad boring. " At this point, your friend may push to go to Madison and Emily’s. However, if they are still ambivalent, try to be more overt. Say something like, “We can always go to Madison and Emily’s another time. "
In the above example, say something like, “So, we can go to Madison and Emily’s, or the movie night. What do you think? It’s your decision. " By making your friend think it’s their decision, they’ll think they’re asserting their autonomy. You’ve already made Madison and Emily’s party sound enticing. You’ve also expressed some resistance to it, which a naturally contrary person may push back against. With luck, your friend will opt for Madison and Emily’s event.
Think about the interactions you’ve had with the person in question. Do they tend to go along with the flow of things, or do they tend to resist? If you know someone who is a more independent thinker, and likes to resist the status quo, this person may be more susceptible to reverse psychology than a person who’s generally agreeable.
For example, say you’re trying to get your son to make his bed in a timely fashion. You could ask him to wait to make his bed until you finish brushing your teeth, explaining to him he’s young and really needs a lot of help. You may come in the room to find he’s already started the process on his own, as he wants to prove his autonomy. With an adult, try to use reverse psychology in the same way. Allow the person to think they’re asserting their autonomy in the situation. You may be choosing between two movies: a foreign film with subtitles versus a lighthearted comedy. You really want to see the foreign film, so you may say something like, “I’m not sure I have the attention span for subtitles. " Your friend may insist on the foreign film at this point, wanting to prove their superior attention span.
Try arguing against yourself in these cases, rather than the choice at hand. Returning to the above example, you can say something to your friend like, “I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. I’m pretty sure this part of town is dangerous, but only you can decide what’s best for you. " You’re encouraging your friend to think for themselves here. If your friend is naturally resistant, they may instead yield to your advice rather than thinking for themselves. Your friend may very well decide not to go to the concert.
These kind of small situations can build up overtime, leading to resentment in a relationship. Your partner, for example, may get tired of not getting their way and begin to get mad at you.
If your child has an emotional outburst while you’re using reverse psychology, remain calm. Allow the child to carry on. With patience, your child should calm down and behave.
For example, say your friend is chronically afraid of doctors. They have a suspicious mole growing on their right shoulder and is resistant to getting it checked out. Do not say, “You’re right. Do not go to the doctor. " Your friend’s fear of doctors may greatly outweigh their need to resist, and you may reinforce a dangerous behavior.
